I was invited by one of the photographers Feng yong bin and his wife Sun Cheng Jing who recently got married to a party. I didn’t know what kind of party but accepted. Guan Xin and her husband picked me up and we went to a place where we were escorted up to a large banquet room filled with my co-workers and others. The parents of Fon Yon Bin were throwing a party to celebrate their son’s marriage. I was introduced to the father my host and whipped out my best hun gouxin ren shi ni. I got good reaction for giving it an effort. Just before we arrived Guan Xin taught me how to say bai nian hao he which means a hundred years together. I was able to get that out to the delight of Feng Young Bin’s mom. The sat me next to the host with my boss on the other side. I think that is a big deal. The seating arrangements of a Chinese banquet are like many things in China based on years of tradition. I know that if you get put in a certain seat, that mean you are picking up the check. Another spot is for the honored guests etc. I noticed immediately the presence of the little shot glass that means GAMBEI! Oh Oh. I had a late night the night before and was not in top form for a big round of gambei. For those who missed it in an earlier post, gambei means empty glass and is said when the host wants you to drink it all.
The giant Lazy Susan started to roll and amazing dishes kept appearing, Pork, chicken, fish and things I have learned not to ask about. Just try it! I looked around at the smiling faces of my coworkers and was struck by how much I like them. I really felt honored to be invited to this special occasion. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I remember feeling like that when I was with my family in San Diego. I started to try to stop and look around and see the faces of the people I love the most. I made myself take it in and appreciate the time I have with them. I am so far away from them now but am so lucky these people, who I didn’t know five months ago have taken me in and welcomed me so completely. I feel truly blessed. I realized that this is the first time we have gathered outside of work except for the few trips to a restaurant for lunch. It is great to see them all in this environment.
The father of the groom then starts with the toasts. I see quickly that at noon this is going to be a long day. Even though table tennis is the national pastime, I think they enjoy trying to get lao wai (foreigner) drunk even more. He toasts everyone there and thanks us all for coming. Then he toasts the bride and groom, and then my boss. Two photographers arrive late. He makes them do san ganbei (they had to knock back three shots) for punishment. Then he comes to me and I learn that I have to do two ganbei to his one. I am not sure why but I am not going to be rude so here it goes. I know how this is going to play out. Soon everyone is getting up from the table and toasting each other. I lost count at 30 shots but there was so much laughing and eating and all around great fun. I love the way Chinese people enjoy life. When they are together eating and drinking it is like there are no troubles in the world. I see it when I am out, I feel it here today in the middle of the day and now I am feeling the effects of the baijiu. I just hope the brain cells that are unselfishly sacrificing themselves in the interest of cultural understanding aren’t the ones I need to learn Mandarin.
Side note. Bai Jiu literally means white alcohol. It is usually 80 to 120 proof. The alcohol by volume ABV is usually on the label, which does me no good because it is in Chinese characters but I am told this particular brand is 54%. For reference Beer is usually 4-6% Wine is usually 12 -14% Tequila Whisky and Vodka are usually around 40%. So Bai Jiu holds its own. When toasting you are supposed to show respect for elders or people above your station by lowering your glass lower than his or hers when you clink them together. My host made that difficult by quickly dropping his glass at the last second. I tried to match that action and he had more tricks up his sleeve. We go for the cheers and he quickly puts his hand under my glass so I can’t go any lower. This guy was good. Real good.
So after multiple rounds of gambei and delicious food the banquet ends. I am thinking that I have a date to meet a friend for dinner and I am thankful that I will have hours to recoup before that. Oops spoke too soon. We go across the street and into a room that is set up for Karaoke. Now I don’t really do Karaoke. Never been much for singing in public. Not sure why but it just isn’t my thing. It may have something to do with the fact that my family used to trot me out in front of guests and make me sing “Side by side” which starts out with Oh we aint got a barrel of money; a song I have learned to hate. Even now they love to sing that song to get a rise out of me. Maybe if they made me sing a cooler song I would like singing but that is for my therapist and me to work out.
Here in Beijing, they loves them some karaoke! There are KTVs and Partyworlds everywhere. It is different than most places in the US though in that you rent a private room so it is just you and your friends or guests. It starts out nicely with some of my co-workers singing some Chinese songs. Then they put on an English song and of course want me to sing. I politely decline. More Chinese songs, more beer. Soon I find myself belting out something by the Carpenters. I think it was “Let me be the one” ( I didn’t pick it) and I know I have given myself up to China. The next day the photos tell the ugly truth. Not only did I sing a carpenters song but I also did “Can’t live without you” by Barry Manilow. Ah the shame washes over me! BARRY MANILOW??? Really? Du Lianyi tells me that her husband says I sing with much feeling. I can only imagine what it sounded like. I can only hope no one shot video. Ahh Bai jiu you White Devil.
All photos ©Michael Paul Franklin
